I think I think too much!

Since being back in school I've lost five of the fifteen pounds that I put on during the summer break. Before school let out I was really trying to work the OA steps. I read the books, took notes, highlighted, tabbed pages, went to face to face meetings, listened to phone meetings, prayed and journaled a lot. But then life got in the way...

So, back to school and routines. Back to HP and God's will. Back to boundaries. And that is a comfort to me. I like structure and knowing what comes next. But with so much change going on with my new school, perhaps it is time to embrace the discomfort. 

I'm a fan of quotes, idioms, cliches, and memes.  But at present, this is my favorite. I don't know for how long I've carried this quote with me. I do know that I had this typed up in the notes section of my PALM PILOT and that very fact dates this as more than 12 years (because I haven't carried that thing around since before my daughter was born).  

"Every one of us is called upon, probably many times, to start a new life. A frightening diagnosis, a marriage, a move, loss of a job...and onward full tilt we go, pitched and wrecked and absurdly resolute, driven in spite of everything to make good on a new shore. To be hopeful, to embrace one possibility after another - that is surely the basic instinct....crying out: High tide! Time to move out into the glorious debris. Time to take this life for what it is." 

~Barbara Kingsolver, "High Tide In Tucson"

Truthfully, I never knew this in its entirety and thanks to the internet, "glorious debris" is all I needed to type in and now the whole thing!  And wow! I've been saying this as a kinda of mantra without even knowing how closely the "glorious debris" is to me. I've only known that second from the last line. 

Coincidence?  HP?  

"Called upon to...move...start a new job"

"Full tilt"

"Embrace a new possibility"

And I just have always loved that phrase, "glorious debris".  As a lover of what washes up in the wrack line, the debris is really glorious!  That's where the sea beans, feathers, sea glass, lost shoes, intact light bulbs, and all kinds of quirky finds are. I have always enjoyed searching the tangles of sea weed for uncovered things that most folks simply breeze by...

Hummmm.... How does this relate to me?  School?  Change?  I'm not really sure. 

Am I the glorious debris?  Am I in the glorious debris?  Am I to find something in the glorious debris?  Is change the glorious debris?  Is my new school the glorious debris?  What about the new people I'm working with?  Are they the glorious debris?  The students? And what should I make of the "high tide" bit? And the "take life for what it's worth" part?  Am I supposed to just apply the "it is what it is" theory to things?

Hummm... I think I think too much sometimes. Speaking of thinking, I think started this post with something about weight loss.  So, now to lose that other ten pounds I put on during the break. 

I do hereby set the following goal:

Lose ten pounds by the end of September. Reward:  ???

Applicable cliche: 

 

I should have a reward.  But what?  Oh too much thinking!  When in doubt, Google it: "Weight loss rewards" http://www.fitnessforweightloss.com/reward-ideas-for-your-weight-loss-journey/

Here are 100+ (non-food) reward ideas:

Reward your healthy behavior on your weight loss journey.

Buy yourself (a) new:

• Belt (Ha!  Like as if I would ever even wear one!)
• Book (I'm already swamped!)
• Bouquet of flowers (Meh.)
• Clothes (No, because I've already got gobs of clothes in all size ranges.)
• DVD (Nah, passé.)
• Exercise clothes (Overflowing drawer already!)
• Healthy cookbook (Also passé.)
• iPod or mp3 player (iPhone)
• iPod, iPhone, or iPad accessory (Got it.)
• Item for a collection or hobby (I have gobs of beads and needlepoint and puzzles and ....)
• Kitchen gadget (I try to limit those.)
• Magazine subscription (I've got too many as it is.)
• Membership (Boring)
• Pair of shoes (Nah. I've got too many as it is.)
• Perfume/cologne (Done.)
• Picture frame (Ooo...interesting!  Good one!)
• Piece of exercise equipment (Gag.)
• Piece of jewelry (No.)
• Purse or wallet (I do want a new wallet...another interesting idea!)
• Robe (Got it.)
• Slippers (Got it.)
• Socks (Got it.)
• Tie (NA)
• Tool (Boring.)
• Underwear (Weird.)
• Wall hanging (See picture frame comment.)
• Watch (Got one.)
• Workout music (Pandora.)

Download a/an: 

• App (No.)
• Computer game (No.)
• Exercise video (No.)
• Kindle book (No.)
• Movie (No.)
• Ring tone (Maybe.)
• Song (Also a maybe.)

Spend time alone and: (Although I love all of these, no.  These are things I basically require for existence.  I'm a diva.)

• Do nothing
• Enjoy peace and quiet
• Lay down for a nap
• Play ‘Words With Friends’ or another game
• Read a book or magazine
• Sip coffee or tea
• Take a bath
• Watch your favorite TV show 
• Work a crossword puzzle, jigsaw puzzle, Sudoku puzzle, etc.

Go to a/the: (No.  No. No.)

• Batting cage
• Bowling alley
• Comedy club
• Concert
• Fair
• Golf course (or mini golf course)
• Mall
• Movies
• Museum
• Play or musical
• Pool or beach
• Spa (Maybe.)
• Sporting event
• Zoo

Pamper yourself with (a):

• Acupuncture (Ew!  No way!)
• Bath products (A nice idea.)
• Facial (No.)
• Haircut/color (I do it myself.)
• Manicure/pedicure (Ditto above.)
• Massage (Perhaps.)
• New make-up (I do need a new mascara.)
• Spray tan (LOL!)
• Teeth whitening (No.)
• Wax (Gee, if I lose ten pounds I'll treat myself to a waxing?! Ha!)

Put money towards (a/an): (A little bit over the top, don't ya' think?)

• Gift card for your favorite store
• Hiring a maid
• Horse back riding
• Hot air balloon ride
• Investment
• Personal training sessions
• Sky diving
• Smaller wardrobe
• Spa day
• Vacation
• Weekend trip

Take a class in/on: (Ditto)

• A foreign language
• Art 
• Ballroom dance
• Computers/software
• Cooking
• Jewelry/bead making
• Photography
• Rock climbing
• Scrapbooking
• Self-defense
• Sewing or crocheting

Take a lesson to practice: (And ditto again.)

• Acting
• Archery
• Dance
• Golf
• Guitar
• Salsa
• Surfing
• Tennis

So, now that I've poo-pooed nearly every single thing...  I'll treat myself to a new wallet when I lose ten pounds by the end of September. 

Good grief!  That was a lot of work!

First Full Week: DONE!! Updated "List"

After the terrifying first day, came the second day, and after that day...day three, and then on the other side of the hump...days four and five!  Exhale.  I didn't die, faint, cry, implode, melt, etc!  What an accomplishment for me.  I'm not a "cryer". And I try to NEVER cry at work in front of others. (My only exception to that rule is when I'm truly sad, as defined as mourning, really.)

I don't know what I was so afraid of anyway. Yes, it is super awkward to hear people talking about personal issues in front of me. I don't know if I am supposed to try not to listen, ask clarifying questions, or just accept that in some weird way this "stranger" feels safe sharing something personal in my presence.   And if that is at all true, what an honor!

When I started this blog I wasn't really sure of what to put on my list of things to do before turning 45. I wasn't sure how to keep score of my accomplishments or what to write about when I was done with an item...other than tell the adventure (if there was one) and then write DONE next to that. 

All this to say that this is my most updated list and I know that working on being a better listener is something that goes hand in hand with meeting new people.  (#23)  Since I have no background with who my new coworkers are and how they came to be, I am really working hard at this!  I don't know people's names (first or last...but sometimes only first...and some other times only last), their kids, their husbands/wives, where they come from, how long they've been teaching, what subject they teach, or really anything at all.  And then, the students!  I'm going to have to learn all of their names too!  And their stories.  And their siblings and parents. 

I feel like I'm playing an old fashioned pinball machine!  I'm working really hard, bouncing around, on my toes, having a great game...  I may even reach a "high score".  Trying not to let the ball slip between the flippers, I twitch and tense myself.  But then...TILT!  The lights go off, the flippers stop working, and the game is over.  Grr!!!  My brain just shuts down.

So, I'm going to actively work on #23...Be a better listener.  HOW?  Take notes?  Mnemonic devices?  Word associations?  Lumosity?  I'll have to do a little research on how to best accomplish this.

My updated list is as follows:

The List

1.  Lose at least 45 pounds. I've lost about 10. But then, this summer I put on about 15!
2.  Finish reading Dante's Divine Comedy. It's been so long, I had to restart!  But I did listen to eight hours of the book being read to me, which was "Part One".
3.  Finish reading the books on my nightstand:  A Land Remembered, Follow the River, Winning at Losing, Cigar City, Sea Glass, Who Let the Dogs Out, and all of the magazines and catalogs I've hoarded. Magazines:  Check.  (But new ones are now taking their place.)  I did start and finish a whopper of a bear of a chore of a book though!  I had to read the book with a dictionary app and take notes AND reread each page multiple times. With great pleasure, I passed on River of the Golden Ibis by, Gloria Jahooda. Ah!  Free at last! And now I have a new book that I've started:  Follow the River
4.  Finish the Dalmatian quilt I started about 10 years ago. I've not done even one stitch. 
5.  Swim with manatees at Crystal River. No, but I did have SEVERAL awesome manatee encounter in the waters near our house. 
6.  Stand up paddle board launched from the shoreline in front of my house. I did it!  I own my own SUP!  
7.  Kayak in Tampa Bay.  Done. (See the Picnic Island blog entry)
8.  Give up coffee, sugar, artificial foods for a certain period of time. (Done. I gave up coffee for almost an entire year and I no longer use sweetener in my coffee now.)
10.  Shoot a gun, bow and arrow. Gun:  Done
11.  Be binge free for a certain number of days Maybe. I've not kept very good track. 
12.  Go to OA and get a sponsor. OA, yes. Sponsor, no.
13.  Floss daily for a certain period of time. No
14.  Go without TV for a month. No
15.  Visit my grandparent's graves. No
16.  Roller skate down Bayshore Blvd.  No
17.  Do a piece of stained glass. No
18.  Learn how to French braid. No
19.  Do the splits. No
20.  Do a head stand. No
21.  Have professional photos made of our family. No
22.  Ride a Segway. No
23.  Be a better listener. Some
24.  Do the NASCAR Experience or at least have my dad do it. No
25.  Complete the Sudoku, word search, and crossword puzzles I started but never finished. (See blog post called "Goodbye Old Friend"
26. But there were other "possible items to add to my list" like:

"Traveling:  I've done a lot of that (luckily) but I would like to go to Alaska (Done:  June and July, 2013), Antarctica, see the "Roaring Forties", and spend some more time on the Appalachian Trail.  Those are not necessarily things I intend to do before 45 though."

New Additions:
28.  Watch "classic" movies. (This was something that I had wanted to include initially but didn't.  I think it is "important" to watch some of these really famous and lauded movies.  There is so much junk on TV...I really should try to watch something that is going to make me better in some way, not remove points off of my IQ.)
29.  Learn to do a really loud whistle.  (The kind of whistle that people use to get a room to stop dead in their tracks.  Using my fingers or some funky way of folding up my tongue.)
30.  Bike ride across the state of Florida. (My sister and I talked about doing this.  We weren't really serious about it, but just said that it was actually possible.  She said she'd follow me in her car while I rode my bike.  Now that she's gone and now that as a family we are riding our bikes, I do think that is something that we can and should do.)
 

And now I'm off to figure out how to be a better listener...
 

A New School...

Yep, a new school after nine years!  

I've been teaching since 1996. My first job was working at an inner city school, teaching a sixth grade drop out prevention class. Sadly, at the "20 Day Count" my position was cut because of low enrollment. (Not that there weren't enough kids who needed to be earmarked in sixth grade as potential drop outs! The entire school had a low enrollment and the "last one hired is the first one fired rule" applied...to me.)

Then I went to another inner city school (just down the road) and taught fifth grade for the rest of the year. This position was funded by something called "School Wide Project" and was just a one year gig. So, in June I packed up my personal belongings and moved BACK to the first school that was no longer a "Sixth Grade Center" and had transitioned to a traditional elementary school. 

I was rehired and assigned to teach second grade. I did that for a number of years until a position opened to be the "Reading Specialist" for the intermediate aged students who were taking the FCAT. 

I did that job for a number of years until the school was slated to shift from being a traditional school to a magnet school for the visual and performing arts. As teachers who had invested years in these kids, the community, and the school, we wanted the school to go out with a bang!  And it was at that time that I chose to leave my part time "reading gig" and return to being a full time classroom teacher.  There were "helpers" crawling all over the place.  Tutors, volunteers, even the coaches and music teachers were assigned to offer assistance with pull out reading groups.  

Another unit per grade level was added and that was when I agreed to return to the classroom.  Since there were so many helpers helping, what I was doing as a pull out reading program was really moot and totally watered down. I could do more for the school as a whole by "helping" less. 

I can remember working on my schedule for my class and having to work around having kids pulled out for and by ELL services, special ed. groups, an AmeriCorps tutor (who was an amazing rock star of a guy but not even a college graduate!), the PE coach pulled kids to do a scripted reading program and/or flash cards, a new teacher hired as a permanent sub who also used the scripted reading system and flash cards, and district level people came to "help" and people who were retired school teachers also came to "help"...!  After a few moments of this chaos, I played my "Reading Specialist Card" and took a stand by reminding the "helpers" that I was the one who was more qualified to "help".  Really?!?  Pull the kids out of a qualified teacher's classroom and do flash cards with a "warm body"?  I don't think so!  

(I had just become a mother and was pregnant with my second child when I chose to take the self-contained fourth grade teacher until after the FCAT... when I took my maternity leave.) 

The end result of that year was that ALL...EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY...kid did a fabulous job on the FCAT. My class average on the FCAT Writes was a 4.6!!! (And that was back in the day when a 3.0 was considered proficient!  And I had zero instruction in how to teach writing 'cause I was a "reading teacher"! BANG! 

But the school closed as a traditional elementary and all of the staff got new jobs at other sites. All new hires to the school had to be "magnet" teachers who were pumped to teach visual and performing arts in addition to the regular curriculum. 

The next school year brought me to a darling small school in an upper middle class neighborhood. I had driven by this school for years and marveled at the building that was on the list of "Historic Buildings" as "Preserved".  I chose to teach in a very unique situation: a small class of learning disabled and language impaired students who were taught by a regular education teacher AND a special ed. teacher. But once I got there, I was assigned to teach second grade. Oh, well.

I only stayed at that site for one year because the gal who was the Assistant Principal of the inner city school from

1996 became the principal of another school and she hired me to teach second grade at HER new school. Ah!  Back to working for someone I knew and loved and back to working for someone who knew and loved me!

She hired me to teach second grade. I stayed in that position for about three years until I became the "Writing Specialist", working with mainly fourth graders preparing to take the FCAT.  

Changes in staff, testing procedures, curriculum, and countless ups 'n' downs, and it was eventually time for a change. 

My own babies are now 10 and 12.  I had driven a half hour each way every day for nine years.  The Common Core State Standards are on our doorstep, the FCAT is in its final year, a new assessment called PARCC is taking its place, the subjects of Reading and Writing are now called "Literacy"...and on and on the pendulum swings.  

I have chosen to embrace all of these shifts! I know that as educators we are always adapting. And, although some of these implementations will eventually be written into history books as failures, I like upping the rigor and working to find new techniques and potential solutions to ages old problems. In that sense, I LIKE change. 

But, then there's another kind of change that is TERRIFYING...and that's "real change"!  

With my ears down, tip of my tail wagging ever so slightly, I walked into a new school yesterday. As an introvert and a slightly socially phobic person, these were some of the most difficult steps of my life. I was told to park in the front of the school and to meet in the cafeteria, but I didn't know where the parking lot was and I didn't know where the cafeteria was. 

I didn't want to arrive too early because that would mean that I'd have to make small talk. (And I am terrible at small talk!)  So, I sat in my car until 7:27, choking back the rising tide of nervousness. When I got out of my car, I flipped on my "teacher switch", inserted a smile where the pursed lips had been only a second before, gathered my belongings and entered the door that I suspected might lead to the main office. (The school was being painted and all the signs were covered.)  Inhale. Exhale. Prevail!  (Cry after school if necessary.)

Change is good...or so I've been told!

On the Way to Ormond Beach

The next leg of our adventure took us down A1A.  Nicholas has a friend who lives in the Daytona Beach area.  We decided to take our time getting there, especially since the distance is only about 60 miles.  Betty's A1A Cafe looked cute and had a sign about a haddock special, so... In we went!

And I am so very elite!  

A very very VERY tchotchked up place!  A person could eat there a million times and not see all of the doo dads!

My favorite!

Can you spy the typo?  Don't people check their work before laminating it and making a ton of menus?

After lunch, the shoreline called to Summer and me!  What beautiful orangey coral colored sand!  And NO ONE around for ages.  My kinda place!

Summer is so cute, wearing her new dress from our St. Augustine shopping trip. 

I've been needing an "L" to add to my collection. So, I staged these seaweed stalks. 

But then I found one that was 100% legit!  I walked up to the shape in the sand and ta da!  

And then I found this shoe in the soft sand by the waves.  I technically found it like this. So, I snapped a pic and then turned it over. 

"Peace be in your sole" is what it says which is so perfect because I have a collection of pictures of "lost soles" and a shirt that says, "Not all who wander are lost."  

We drove on a bit and eventually chose to stay at the Coral Sands Inn.  A very cute place with a TV room, two queens, and a kitchen ... Right on the beach!

TV room with couch and breakfast nook. 

Pass through to bedroom, bath on right and kitchen to left. 

We had hot dogs for dinner two nights in a row!  Yum!

And the beach!  The beach was perfectly glorious!

What's not to like?

St Augustine Full Day

So, after a back and forth on Facebook, my high school BFF and I had agreed to meet in St. Augustine. We intended to get there after lunch but first we had to stop at a bike shop before leaving Tampa. (We planned on bringing our bikes with us to St. Augustine.)

The night before, we went on a ride through a wooded bit on the Air Force base. Apparently, sand spurs can wedge themselves in between the tire's tread and can cause a slow leak. (Nicholas had two flats and Summer had one.)

All told, we weren't able to leave Tampa until after lunch. So, it wasn't until dinner time that we arrived in St. Augustine. 

We checked into our hotel, The Cozy Inn.

Our "room" was a two floor unit. The downstairs had a sitting area with a pull out love seat sofa bed and slip covered chair arranged around a rectangular glass top coffee table. Beyond that there was a kitchen with a full size stove and cooktop, double sink, refrigerator, and a breakfast bar with four stools. 

Upstairs was a loft style bedroom and bathroom. 

The place was quite cute!  We had agreed to stay here for three nights while we visited with Mandy and toured ourselves around a bit. 

Summer had been to St. Augustine on a fourth grade field trip. I had visited by myself a few years ago, but neither Shawn nor Nicholas had been here before.  We were all excited, nevertheless. 

Finally, we arrived at the restaurant and I got to see Mandy and meet her son. We ate and drank wine and got all caught up on our lives. It was like no time had passed. There was no awkwardness. We just picked up where we left off. Our kids got along well and after our meal, we wandered up and down St. George Street, stopping at Kilwin's for some ice cream. 

We had so much fun that we encouraged  them to stay the night in the unit next door. That way we could continue our visit a little longer. 

The next morning, they had to start the long drive back to Kentucky. Mandy and I had a lovely hug and we wished them well on their journey. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After they were off, we hopped on to our bikes and rode into the town, specifically to tour the Castillo De San Marcos which was only about a mile away. By the time we got there on our bikes Shawn had discovered that he, too, had a flat tire. 

So, he and Summer walked their bikes across the Bridge of Lions that led to the nearest bike shop. 

Nicholas and I stayed and took ourselves for a walk around the castle. 

It was a typical Florida day and Nicholas was wilting in the unrelenting heat. So, we left the blazing sun and took refuge in the Visitors' Center where we looked at the displays and read some ghost stories in the gift shop.

The gates to the city.

Shawn and Summer returned, joined us for lunch, and a little window shopping. 

I'm a little obsessed with finding typos and errors. This sign was in the bathroom at the restaurant. Just wash one hand. Hopefully, the employees will wash the hand used to...(It's too revolting to type!)

And this "typo" was on a tile in a shop. Wouldn't one proofread before glazing and firing?  Furthermore, why did the shop owner accept the flawed goods?  I pity the ignoramus who buys this object d'art.

We ended up our day, returning to the castle to collect our bikes from the rack where they had been secured. 

But before leaving, we were lucky enough to have a visit from a sea turtle who was enjoying a snack along the wall of the castle.